shut your eyes...

Sup guys...um....actually I can't really find the right words to put my mind into this posting...but will my best anyways. I don feel good...seriously....I don't...I'm feeling so dirty deep inside...and worthless...I'm even starting to hate myself...can't believe that I call my self a Christian...after all I did He still says "I love you and I forgive you" . This ain't the jokes man...I think as Christians alot of us are taking the advantage of God's patience. Someday when the time comes saying 'I'm sorry' just won't cut anymore dude!!! This is seriously getting into our lives now since 'we know we're going to heaven!!' attitude came in...taking advantage and keep saying 'sorry' and crying all over the floor and asking for forgiveness EVERYTIME and again and again is somehow making me sick....I'm sick of it man...to be honest...I'm sick of those who do this too...I know temptation is powerfull outside...But you gotta stand you're ground dude!!! N-O spells NO and thats that. Don't expect respect from others if you make mistakes and say 'sorry' everytime...sure, you learn from mistakes...God never promised an easy ride...but God also said he hates sin...though not the sinner....just the sin. And to be honest I'm full of sin...one of the reasons I'm puting this down is cos I'm full of sin...And I'm reminding everyone to be more carefull and not fall down..like I did.Had the WORST feeling ever...the feeling of guilt and depression...whoa so deep...I try not to show it...I'm too ashamed to show it...some of you might see it...and you guys are right...I'm a sinfull man...VERY sinfull. My point is that repentance is not intended to be repeated. Sure repent spells alot like repeat...but would you wanna kill someone and say sorry and go to jail...and somehow you'd still go out and kill more people and say sorry again and again? I don think so dude....be carefull man....stay on the straight and narrow...its bumpy...but its worth it....Seriously...